Words: A World of Unrighteousness
A recent study of James 3 has me evaluating my words very carefully. “The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness” (James 3:6). This vivid description of the tongue comes after the warning that not many should become teachers because teachers' words will be judged “with greater strictness” (James 3:1). A world of unrighteousness is a sobering way to describe our tongue or words. After all, “from out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). Our words reveal the unrighteousness within our hearts. It is easy to dismiss this warning with the thought that “I don’t use profanity” or “I don’t swear”, but the depth of sin that our tongues reveal is much deeper than a quick check-list of types of words we don’t use. And further, we as Biblical counselors are teachers. We “teach the truth” in every session so our words are extremely important both in the counseling room and outside the counseling session.
One of the ways our words may be a “world of unrighteousness” is through manipulation. While manipulation is not a word used in scripture, it is a specific type of deceit. Rather than straight up lying, manipulation plays on the vulnerable emotions of someone else. Our words do not cause someone else to feel a certain way, but we may look for a weakness of emotions to exploit in manipulating someone. One example might be a parent trying to entice an adult child to come home. “You’ll be the only one missing from the family if you don’t come.” These words are manipulative (deceitful) because the goal is to get the desired outcome. The heart is a “world of unrighteousness” when we are willing to sin in our words to get our desired outcome. Rather than saying, “I would love for you to be able to come home, but I understand if you are unable to”, this parent is hoping to make their child feel a certain way (guilty, sad, left out, obligated) to get the family together. Another example might be a child texting mom from school. “If you love me you’ll get me out of school early.” This is perhaps less “veiled” in manipulation, but the idea is clear. The child is the one wanting the parent to feel a certain way (fear thinking the child doesn’t feel loved, or guilty for making the child stay at school when she doesn’t want to) to get the outcome she wants. These words that don’t include profanity or cuss words are unrighteous because they have selfish desires behind them.
Think about the ways you try to get your desired outcome. Do you deceive through manipulation trying to exploit a weakness in someone who gives in to their feelings?
Another type of words that qualify as “a world of unrighteousness” are words of self-pity. Words that are designed to, again, play on the weakness of other’s emotions. We may want someone to feel badly for our situation and so we tell a story that may exclude certain details, emphasize other details, and include things that make us look pitiful. We want to feel justified in our sadness or want to justify our response to a situation by having other agree with us. Ask yourself, when I am feeling sad or low, do I try to get a consensus of people to agree with me? This “consensus building” means that other people’s opinions are what make us feel good. We want to feel validated, “seen” or feel like we are “right”, so we use our words to get others to agree with us. The motive of the heart makes these words a world of unrighteousness. Our aim is not to honor God with our words, but to get our desired response from others.
Randy Patton, a early member and founder of the biblical counseling movement says, “There are only two options on the shelf, pleasing God or pleasing Self”.
Part of the reason the tongue is a world of unrighteousness is that we use it with sinful motives. Rather than thinking, “what honors God right now” before we speak, we are thinking about what we want. We are pleasing Self, not God. We are working toward our will, not God’s will.
Stop and think about your words. Do you work to get people to agree with you or validate you? Whether it’s wanting pity for having a “hard” day or something bigger, our hearts are revealed by our tongues, both with the words we use, the tone we use, and the motive behind the words.
Other ways we may use our tongues as a world of unrighteousness is through sarcasm. Sarcasm is defined as the use of irony to mock or convey contempt. Sarcasm is something that is said in a joking manner, but often has someone else or a concept valued by others as the target of the statement. Sarcasm is a not so veiled way of showing disdain or contempt toward something. Sarcasm tends to be belittling, though we claim it is “just a joke”. I often hear “What’s wrong with sarcasm? It’s just a funny way of expressing my opinion”. If we stop and ask, “Does this type of speech honor God? Does this sarcasm show the love and greatness of God? Am I actually trying to bring honor to myself by being funny or the center of attention?” Again, we must look at the motive of our heart behind the sarcasm.
Are you a person who uses sarcasm? Are you words glorifying to God or are you seeking self glory?
Other ways the tongue is a dangerous organ for sin is through common communication sins like gossip, slander, lying, profanity, complaining, exaggeration, negativity, flattery, dogmatism, harshness, rudeness, and any other type of speech that doesn’t honor the Lord. James 3 makes it clear that we should not have words that honor the Lord and words that dishonor the Lord coming from the same mouth. James 3:9-10 says, “With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” As biblical counselors, we must be on guard regarding our speech, both in the counseling room and everywhere else. May our tongues by a world of righteousness by surrendering to the Lord and walking in step with the Holy Spirit.
As we speak, let us seek to fulfill Proverbs 15:2, which says, “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable.” The way our tongue speak can make knowledge from God’s Word acceptable. That means people want to hear what we say because it is said with humility, aiming to please God, and with love.