A Gentle and Quiet Spirit 1 Peter 3:3-4
How do you define “beauty”? What do you consider beautiful as you look at women or other objects?
Maybe it’s helpful to think of the opposite. What do you find ugly?
We don’t have to define beauty ourselves. God does it for us!
We learn what God considers beautiful and very precious!
God defines beauty as an attitude of the heart.
God says that beauty is an inner quality. This beauty is very precious to God. Do you want to have God consider you “very precious?”
1 Peter 3:1-6
“3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”
“Do not let your adorning be external…” God is not forbidding us from wearing jewelry or braiding our hair. God is emphasizing what is most important. God wants us to know that we shouldn’t rely on outward demonstrations of hair, clothing, make-up, etc to be considered beautiful. Those things are not real beauty! If our emphasis is on outer beauty, we are neglecting inner beauty.
God is defining beauty for us. He tells us what is precious in His sight.
Gentle and Quiet Spirit
What does that mean? It is not about personality. The world is obsessed with personality types. We can take quizzes on which of the seven dwarfs we are most like, which Buffy the Vampire Slayer character we are most like. We have the Meyer’s Brigg personality assessment, the Enneagram test. Sadly, these personality types often become excuses for our sin. I can’t help being opinionated, I’m a number 3 on the Enneagram. I can’t help being emotional and loud, I’m a ENFJ on the Meyer’s Briggs. Or, of course I argue with this person, our personalities don’t mesh.
But, The Bible tells us to be like Christ. No matter what our natural (and sinful bent) may be, we are to ask ourselves, “Does this attitude, thought, emotion, and words honor and glorify God?”
A Gentle and Quiet Spirit It is not about a sweet, soft voice with a southern accent. It’s not about only speaking when spoken to or not giving your opinion on things.
God says beauty comes from the inner or hidden person in the heart. The heart is the control center of who we are. It is the eternal part of us. Our outer bodies are wasting away, we age in our bodies, we get old and will die. Our inner person, our heart, is what will live eternally with God. So the heart includes our thoughts, our emotions, our desires, our motives, our will. Christ came to renew or redeem our hearts - to give us renewed thoughts, renewed emotions, renewed desires, renewed motives, and renewed will. This is what God is talking about in this passage.
As we look at gentle and quiet spirit, there are ways that ALL of us need to grow in this. No one “arrives” at having a perfectly gentle and quiet spirit. But, there is hope! In Christ, connected to Him through faith, we are empowered by His Holy Spirit, to grow and change to be more like Christ. Sanctification is a process by which God uses our time in the Word, our “beholding” or studying Him, to work in our hearts and change us. So don’t be discouraged by this call to be gentle and quiet. God enables us to do what He calls us to do. We need to be dependent on Him, pray for these qualities, spend time studying God and His character, and actively work to trust Him and respond differently. It is possible for every believer!!
So God is addressing an inner quality.
Gentle is also called “meek”.
I’m going to work through the Blue Letter Bible Commentary definition of meekness in four parts.
Part 1 - “Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting” - Think for a minute about times when you are “unhappy” or “discontent” with your circumstances. When do you tend to think “life shouldn’t be this way?” When things are not going your way, and you are anxious or upset in some way, you are not accepting God’s dealing with you as “good”.
When we accept God’s dealings with us as “good”, even in difficulties or sufferings, we are able to respond with a calm spirit, or attitude, resting in God’s character. That is meekness.
Think about the diagram from last week, from Romans 8:28-30.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.”
If we trust God’s Word, that God uses ALL THINGS in our lives - both easy and difficult people and circumstances to make us more like Christ - the “GOOD” God is working out is our sanctification.
When we truly trust God is using ALL THINGS - traffic, money issues, people, family members, job issues, church issues, sickness, technology problems, ALL THINGS in our lives for His purpose - we can rest in Him with a meek spirit.
Part 2 - “In the OT, the meek are those wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend against injustice. Thus, meekness toward evil people means knowing God is permitting the injuries they inflict, that He is using them to purify His elect, and that He will deliver His elect in His time”.
This part focuses on God’s sovereignty over other people and how they treat us. Even when others are harsh or revile us, even when others mistreat us and harm us, God is sovereign over the hearts of men and is using even their sin against us for His good purpose.
1 Peter 2:18-25 shows us how Jesus responded to being mistreated. We have a “Sympathetic High Priest” - Jesus our Savior, who knows what it like to suffer at the hands of other people. He did it perfectly. In Christ, through Faith, we have His perfect record put on us, AND we can grow in our meekness to respond like Him!
1 Peter 2:18-25
“Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. 19 For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. 21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”
He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. Jesus didn’t worry about what others thought or accused Him of. Jesus was focused on the Truth that God is all-knowing, all-just, all-loving, all-merciful. It was God’s opinion that mattered and Jesus just wanted to please Him in every response!
"The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will" (Proverbs 21:1)
No one can do anything to you that is not part of God’s plan.
Consider the story of Joseph, who is an example of meekness.
Genesis 37:18-28
“18 When Joseph’s brothers saw him coming, they recognized him in the distance. As he approached, they made plans to kill him. 19 “Here comes the dreamer!” they said. 20 “Come on, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns. We can tell our father, ‘A wild animal has eaten him.’ Then we’ll see what becomes of his dreams!”
21 But when Reuben heard of their scheme, he came to Joseph’s rescue. “Let’s not kill him,” he said. 22 “Why should we shed any blood? Let’s just throw him into this empty cistern here in the wilderness. Then he’ll die without our laying a hand on him.” Reuben was secretly planning to rescue Joseph and return him to his father.
23 So when Joseph arrived, his brothers ripped off the beautiful robe he was wearing. 24 Then they grabbed him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it. 25 Then, just as they were sitting down to eat, they looked up and saw a caravan of camels in the distance coming toward them. It was a group of Ishmaelite traders taking a load of gum, balm, and aromatic resin from Gilead down to Egypt.
26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain by killing our brother? We’d have to cover up the crime. 27 Instead of hurting him, let’s sell him to those Ishmaelite traders. After all, he is our brother—our own flesh and blood!” And his brothers agreed. 28 So when the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt.”
That’s some serious sin against Joseph. The brother’s jealousy lead them to want to kill him and then “settle” on selling him into slavery. That’s just plain evil behavior!
Genesis 39:4-23
4 So Joseph found favor in his sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had. 5 From the time that he made him overseer in his house and over all that he had, the Lord blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had, in house and field. 6 So he left all that he had in Joseph's charge, and because of him he had no concern about anything but the food he ate.
Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. 7 And after a time his master's wife cast her eyes on Joseph and said, “Lie with me.” 8 But he refused and said to his master's wife, “Behold, because of me my master has no concern about anything in the house, and he has put everything that he has in my charge. 9 He is not greater in this house than I am, nor has he kept back anything from me except you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” 10 And as she spoke to Joseph day after day, he would not listen to her, to lie beside her or to be with her.
11 But one day, when he went into the house to do his work and none of the men of the house was there in the house, 12 she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house. 13 And as soon as she saw that he had left his garment in her hand and had fled out of the house, 14 she called to the men of her household and said to them, “See, he has brought among us a Hebrew to laugh at us. He came in to me to lie with me, and I cried out with a loud voice. 15 And as soon as he heard that I lifted up my voice and cried out, he left his garment beside me and fled and got out of the house.” 16 Then she laid up his garment by her until his master came home, 17 and she told him the same story, saying, “The Hebrew servant, whom you have brought among us, came in to me to laugh at me. 18 But as soon as I lifted up my voice and cried, he left his garment beside me and fled out of the house.”
19 As soon as his master heard the words that his wife spoke to him, “This is the way your servant treated me,” his anger was kindled. 20 And Joseph's master took him and put him into the prison, the place where the king's prisoners were confined, and he was there in prison. 21 But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.”
This is another gross evil against Joseph. Potiphar’s wife is angry she’s been rejected by Joseph so she accuses him of sexually assaulting her.
Joseph is thrown in jail and after being promised to be helped when he interprets the dreams of the baker and the cupbearer, they forget about him. He remains in prison for years.
When Joseph is face to face with the brothers who started these YEARS of suffering, he says to them,
Genesis 45:4-8
“So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.6 For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. 7 And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors.8 So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt.”
Genesis 50:20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”
That’s meekness in action. To look at mistreatment by others and say, “God has good purpose in my life, is meekness”. Joseph looks beyond the circumstances, beyond the people who are inflicting the pain, and says, God has purpose in all of this.
Scripture tells us that He knew God was with him. Joseph chose to trust God’s character and believe God was good and purposeful in all things. God was the author of Joseph’s life. And God is the author of your life.
How do you respond when you are mistreated? When someone is disrespectful to you or when you are not appreciated, how do you respond? Your thoughts, your emotions, your desires, your actions and words - reveal your heart. Is it gentle and quiet? Do you rest in God’s plan or fight for your own.
How do you respond when you are falsely accused? Maybe you are accused of having a bad motive for something you did. Maybe you have been accused of saying something you didn’t say.
How do you respond when you have years of suffering at the hands of family members or a boss or someone else God has placed in your life?
A gentle and quiet spirit is both inward and outward response - we can look to God’s character as sovereign, good, wise, and purposeful in what He brings into our lives and responds with trust.
Part 3 “Gentleness or meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest. It stems from trust in God's goodness and control over the situation. The gentle person is not occupied with self at all.
A meek person will not insist on their own way (1 Corinthians 13:5) because “love does not insist on its own way”. A meek person will look to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4) because we count others more significant than ourselves.
A person who is not gentle but harsh, not meek but loud and demanding is prideful. Pride is the focus on self. Pride has the attitude of “that’s not the way I wanted it” or “that not how I would do it”. There are two sides to pride. Pride can be a boastful, “I’m better than you” or “my way is right” OR pride can be the self-pitying of feeling sorry for yourself or “that’s not fair”. Pride is the focus on self. The focus on self keeps us from being gentle and meek. Meekness doesn’t focus on self. Meekness focuses on God first, and others second.
Stop and think for a moment. What is your typical reaction when something doesn’t go as planned? Where are the circumstances or relationships where you desire to assert your way or focus on the fact that you didn’t get your way? As I said, there are always ways to grow in being gentle and quiet in spirit.
Part 4 “This is a work of the Holy Spirit, not of the human will (Gal 5:23).” Gentleness (or meekness) is Fruit of the Holy Spirit. Meekness comes from a growing faith and trust in God as the Holy Spirit transforms our hearts. Responding meekly is evidence that we have the indwelling Holy Spirit in us and we are depending on Him moment to moment. You won’t muster up being gentle and quiet in spirit on your own, but there is certainly effort involved.
So, we should be praying for a meek spirit!
“The meek accept trouble and hardship for one fundamental reason: they recognize that God is the Author of their circumstances (Isa. 45:7). God really does work all things according to the counsel of His will (Eph. 1:11; Job 42:2)—even when we don’t see how things could possibly bring glory to God and even when we are in pain (Isa. 46:10; 2 Cor. 1:8-9).
When we trust God’s goodness and power, we can patiently endure the circumstances He has ordained. God gives the grace to patiently bear trials as we fix our eyes on His steadfast love and discipline ourselves to trust Him.” - Andrea Lea
But, we can also pursue meekness. We are commanded to “put on meekness”.
Colossians 3:12-15 “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”
We can choose in the moment when we are tempted to be harsh and demanding (temptation will come!) -we can choose to depend on the Holy Spirit to respond with meekness rather than pride and discontent. Christ purchased our ability to obey Him and submit to Him. There is hope that we can grow in this area!
Gentle (or meek) - a condition of the mind and heart God is always concerned with the heart.
It is seen in outward behavior and is an inward grace of the soul.
It is an inner, rock solid trust in God and His character in which we accept what God gives us in circumstances and relationships. We trust God’s goodness and accept what He gives without disputing, resisting, struggling or complaining.
What does a gentle and quiet spirit look like in action?
Meekness is shown in our response when we are trusting God’s plan for us, regardless of what our circumstances are.
This means we give thanks in all circumstances.
- We remain teachable and agree that God’s ways are better and higher than our ways and willingly accept what He gives.
- Are you quick to respond out of emotions like anger or anxiety, or are you quick to pray and remind yourself of God’s goodness, faithfulness, and wisdom in whatever you are facing?
Meekness is shown to other people through governing our anger when we are provoked.
- Are you easily offended? Are you quick to get riled up when someone says something you disagree with when someone says something to you that could be taken wrong?
Proverbs 15:28 “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things”
- When you are inconvenienced or sinned against, what comes out of you?
Our circumstances reveal what is in our heart. What comes out of you was ALREADY there. Proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart, for from it flows the wellspring of life”. Our responses (life in action) flows from what is in our hearts. Our thoughts become actions. Our emotions become actions. Our desires become actions. Our motives become actions. Our responses flow from the core of who we are. Our responses are either gentle and quiet in spirit, or NOT.
Picture a water bottle. When you bump into a water bottle, water comes out. Why? Because that was what was in the bottle BEFORE you bumped it.
When your child is disrespectful, when you get interrupted in the middle of your favorite hobby, when you are spoken to rudely, - how you respond comes from your heart and reveals if you are trusting in God or if you are determined to do it your own way.
A gentle and quiet spirit will ponder how to answer and ask the question, “What response pleases God right now?”
Meekness bears with the sin of others.
Meekness examines the log in our own eye before looking at the speck in someone else’s eye. Matthew 7:1-5
When you consider your own sin seriously, you recognize that you are “the worst of sinners.”
1 Timothy 1:15 “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.”
Paul was way more concerned about his own sin against God. He took seriously his own sin against a holy, holy, holy God. A meek person is more concerned about offending God, than how she has been sinned against. That makes us able to bear with others' sin.
So what does it look like to respond to others sin? Do you point them to Christ and His forgiveness? Do you endure small offenses letting love cover over them. We are not called to ignore sin, but being meek and gentle means we can choose to absorb the cost of small sins and extend grace and mercy to those who sin against us.
Meekness is quick to forgive.
When we don’t forgive, we become bitter. A hurt or offense against us is focused on and as we rehearse the wrong that was done, we allow bitterness to grow in our hearts. This turns into being a complainer and having an irritated spirit.
Meekness recognizes how much we have been forgiven. In the parable of the “unforgiving servant” in Matthew 18, the servant who has been forgiven a $10,000,000 debt goes out and threatens to imprison a man who owes him $10. The unforgiving servant didn’t appreciate the grace and mercy he had received. He was proud and selfish.
Meekness focuses on God’s grace and mercy. A meek person realizes that “the wages of sin is death” and that God has rescued us from eternal separation from Him, which we deserve. When we rightly understand how much we’ve been forgiven, we can show grace and mercy to others.
When God forgives us, He is not ignoring sin. Christ took the penalty for our sin. He took our punishment. When we forgive others, we acknowledge we have been hurt, but choose to say, I will absorb the cost of this sin and let the other person experience grace.
Forgiveness is the promise to:
Not dwell on the sin
Not talk about the sin to others
Not use it against the person who sinned and not bring it up (unless it may be helpful for further growth and change)
Gentleness is a fruit of the spirit. We should be praying to grow in gentleness. It is sin not to be gentle.
A gentle and Quiet spirit - tranquility arising within the heart, it means “free from disturbance”. The passage we looked at in 1 Peter gives examples of how a gentle and quiet spirit plays out in marriage.
Let’s look back at the passage:
1 Peter 3: 4-6
“but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”
A Quiet Spirit is seen in submitting to your husband.
Verse 5and 6 says, “for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves” as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”
Why does God use this as an example? Submission to a husband is rooted in trusting God - having confidence in God’s plan. If our souls are anxious and frustrated, concerned about us getting our way, we are not demonstrating the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
If we trust that God is good, wise, loving, faithful, righteous - and all that God is - we demonstrate that trust in submission. Our faith flows out in our responses to situations.
God uses Sarah as an example of this meek and quiet spirit. Why is submitting to Abaham, her husband, an evidence of her inner beauty?
In Genesis 12, when Sarah followed Abraham out of their home in Ur, she was honoring God. We don’t know if Sarah thought Abraham was making a great decision or not, but Sarah was trusting in God’s promise. We know this because 1 Peter 3 tells us so.
Submission is a topic to cover on its own. But it’s good to see right now that a gentle and quiet spirit is evidenced in how we respond to our husbands. A gentle and quiet spirit is heart level. We don’t submit if we roll our eyes, grumble in our hearts, complain to our friends, or stew in our thoughts.
A gentle and quiet spirit is NOT just about marriage. It is a heart position for every single woman (and man!). Women are more likely to be given to strong emotion - so God is directing this statement to women. Don’t spend so much time on what you look like, what you wear, your hair and make-up. Work on growing in your trust in God.
“Quietness of soul” rests in the character and promises of God. The way we respond and live out our lives is the evidence of either trusting God or trusting in something OTHER than God.
A quiet spirit is seen in not fearing the future or circumstances.
From verse 6, Quietness of spirit is seen in not fearing - Why?
An Anxious or Fearful spirit comes from focusing on yourself and what you want. We get anxious or fearful when we think we won’t get what we want. Or we get anxious and fearful when something we value is threatened. We are focusing on our circumstances rather than God.
Fear focuses on SELF. anxiety and fear focus on what I want, neglecting God’s sovereignty and providence in our lives.
Have you ever been on an airplane with severe turbulence? That anxiety and fear come from thinking about what you want and what you might lose - safety, predictability, control.
But, a quiet spirit, the tranquil heart, is focused on God and His plan, even if it’s not what you want. A quiet spirit is able to say “not my will but Your will be done”. A person with a quiet spirit is so trusting in God’s promises that it does not give way to fear.
How do you grow in meekness and a quiet spirit?
Pray and ask God to help you in this area. Confess that you are not meek and don’t have a quiet spirit. Confess that you have been focused on what you want, rather than what God wants. Ask God to forgive you and TURN towards Him in these areas.
Study God’s character. Do a study on the Attributes of God. Spend time meditating on who God is. Why does God’s character help you trust Him? Study Christ. Examine closely how Jesus responded to people. Marvel at his meekness and quiet spirit in the midst of great suffering. What you appreciate about God’s wisdom, goodness, righteousness, sovereignty. What do you learn from Jesus’ interaction? Spend weeks and months meditating on who God is.
Jesus describes his own heart as being “gentle” or “meek”.
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
We are called to be like Christ! He invites us to learn from Him!
As you meditate on God, examine your heart. Do you want to please God in your life? Are you committed to gaining a heart of meekness? Talk to God about this daily.
Daniel 1:8 is a verse that has helped me tremendously in thinking about change.
“But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself.”
As Daniel is being led to Babylon, he “resolves” not to defile himself with food that was forbidden for Israelites. Resolve means to “settle on a solution, or to firmly decide a course of action”. Daniel didn’t leave what would happen up to the moment when temptation came. He was resolved, set firmly in his mind, that he would honor God.
Maybe you need to write out some statements of resolve that you pray over and refer back to daily.
Think about what it looks like to respond meekly in scenarios that frequently happen to you. Pre-plan what it will look like to feel the temptation to anger or anxiety…
Pray and ask God for help.
Pray and remind yourself who God is - His character in this situation.
What Scripture will help you think rightly?
What Christlike action (meek and quiet spirit) will replace what you have done before?
God defines a gentle, meek, quiet spirit as being imperishable beauty. As your body ages, wrinkles, and slowly gets more decrepit and slow and less functioning - your inner self is what remains.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 - “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
We can renew our inner self by being transformed by looking at God/Christ.
Becoming meek and quiet in spirit is a process. Sanctification is a life long process. But, we have to make an effort and take specific steps to change. It won’t just happen because you take this class. You have to do the steps of change.
Ask yourself, when am I NOT gentle and quiet in spirit? What is going on when I give a harsh, anxious, frustrated response?
Our lack of being gentle, meek, and quiet in spirit is linked to us not getting what we want, or thinking we may not get what we want in the future.
Ask yourself at the moment when you are about to give a harsh, loud response….
What am I wanting?
What do I fear I may not get?
What am I getting that I don’t want?
Ephesians 4:22-24
“to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Putting off - identifying the sin and repenting of it. We are to put off our “deceitful desires” - the things we want so much we are willing to sin to get.
That’s linked to the question, “What do I want right now?” When I am harsh, anxious, angry, frustrated, - sinning - I want something more than I want to submit to God’s plan for me.
That’s what I need to repent of. Not just the words, actions, or attitude, but the desires that have become ruling desires in my heart. A ruling desire is what drives my action. If I am sinning, it’s a desire that has grown to be deceitful (from Eph 4). It may be a “good” desire - like wanting to be loved or having your kids obey, but if I sin to get that desire met, it is a deceitful desire because I am worshiping that desire, not God at that moment.
Renewed in spirit of mind - studying Scripture, studying God, studying Jesus, being resolved to please God over self -
We need to renew our minds in the truth that we have been made “new creations in Christ” -
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Believers have the indwelling Holy Spirit who empowers us to change and become like Christ. It is God who transforms us, but we play a role in our sanctification in setting our minds on Christ, repenting of our sin, depending on the Spirit to enable us to deny our selfish desires.
2 Corinthians 3:18 “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
We are to “behold” Christ. This passage makes reference back to Moses seeing God on Mount Sinai and needing to cover his face with a veil because God’s glory was so bright. In Christ, we can now see Christ’s glory in Scripture. We can behold, study, fix our eyes on, meditate on His character, His nature, His sacrifice - and it is the Lord who changes us or transforms us to be more Christ-like in our desires, attitudes, actions, words.
Don’t skip this step. It is only a heart that is loving, treasuring, worshiping God MORE that leads to true change. Just changing behavior is not enough. The root of change is a growing appreciation and trust in God.
Putting on - responding in Christ-like way. Using gentle and kind words. Displaying patience in attitude, words, and actions. Choosing to love others no matter what they say or do. This is living out the faith we profess.
What are some ways we may “disguise” a lack of having a gentle and quiet spirit?
“I feel overwhelmed” - is a spirit that is allowing circumstances that affect the heart. Rather than being focused on God and His attributes, when we feel overwhelmed we are looking at our own ability and weakness. Our inner-person is stirred up, not quiet. I want to encourage you to see this as an area that you may need to grow in. Do you use the word “overwhelmed” to describe yourself?
The new way of saying that is “I’m over-stimulated”. This is the same thing as being overwhelmed, just said in a way that means we don’t think we are to blame for our response. Being “over-stimulated” means that we’ve allowed our circumstances to dictate life, rather than looking at God and His grace to sustain us in any situation.
Maybe there are other ways you refer to that anxious feeling of circumstances that excuses where your heart is really at. Are there ways you tend to blame situations as the problem rather than examining your heart?
Psalm 131
O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore.
A Gentle and Quiet Spirit looks to the Lord and is not overtaken by emotion because her soul is resting in a good, wise, loving, faithful, sovereign God.