Proverbs 31 Woman (Part 5) Kindness

The final principle we learn from Proverbs 31 is being kind. In her fear of the Lord, this woman does intentional acts to alleviate suffering of others and act on their behalf.

She teaches kindness. This kindness means “to show oneself merciful”. 

Kindness means doing good to others for their benefit and well-being.  It involves helping others, seeking to alleviate hardship or suffering, being useful or being sympathetic, and then actually doing something that helps someone in need.  Kindness seeks to make someone else’s experience more enjoyable and beneficial than it would be otherwise.

Kindness isn’t just nice words, it’s not just “the thought that counts”. A kind person actively seeks to benefit others with actions. 

She is patient and gentle with how she speaks, corrects, and shares God’s word. She also teaches others around her how to be kind and live out their faith. She is demonstrating and teaching what it means to consider others as more significant than yourself (Philippians 2:3-4).

We learn from watching others just as much as we learn from their words. She demonstrates kindness. Those she lives with and interacts with learn kindness from her life.

The opposite of kindness is severity, lacking compassion and gentleness, being harsh or inconsiderate. 

Proverbs 31: 20  “She opened her hand to the poor and reached out her hands to the needy”.

She is generous with people who need help. If she sees a need and can meet it, she does. 

This starts in the heart that is others-focused. You have to be attentive to others to see and meet needs. And, you have to love God more than you love keeping your own resources!

This may be financial help but it may be other ways of helping. The poor are weak or afflicted people. Those who are struggling in life in some way.

The needy are those in need of deliverance. First and foremost, they need deliverance from the wrath of God through the gospel. They may be needy because they are under oppression or abuse. This woman can assess a situation and move wisely. Wisdom doesn’t mean doing all that everyone wants done for them. Wisdom employs the principles of God’s word and does what is best for the other person. Sometimes, that is NOT what the needy person wants, but it is the best course of action.

Over the past 5 blogs, we have studied Proverbs 31 and the principles of life we can learn from this woman who feared the Lord. As you look at this woman, what stands out to you?

First and foremost, she fears the Lord.

She is trustworthy.

She is hardworking.

She is strong in mental strength- taking thoughts captive.

She is strong in emotional strength - not giving way to strong emotions but taking them to God and choosing to trust God in that moment.

She is strong in physical strength - she stewards her health with exercise, diet, and rest.

She is strong in spiritual strength - choosing with a vigorous act of the will to trust God.

She is wise. She knows God’s word and speaks wisely to others.

She is kind.

She is generous and servant minded.

Take a moment to think about your own life. What is one character trait you could grow in? What will you do to start growing in this area? Write out a quick prayer asking God to help you grow in this.

For example,

If you realize you need to start with growing in fear of God, maybe you need to commit to studying God’s attributes. You can use a study bible to find scriptures that describe God and spend the next few months focusing on seeing how God reveals Himself in Scripture. You can commit to meditate on what those truths about God mean in your life and how you should be responding differently because you trust God to be all that he says he is. As we “behold the glory of the Lord” through Scripture, God helps us to place Him in His rightful place of Lord and Savior. The earthly things we put so much value on pale in comparison to God. Change starts with repentance. We need to repent - confess our sin and turn away from worshiping ourselves. We need to repent of valuing the ideas of google and “research” over God’s word. We need to confess that we have not spent time meditating on God and then take steps to change that.

Maybe you need strength of some kind. Maybe you are quick to react to emotions and you need to grow in becoming strong enough to take your emotions to God and renew your mind in Truth about God. He is in control of your circumstances. God may bring a difficult situation into your life but you can choose to trust that God is using it for your good to make you more like Christ (Romans 8:28-29). Begin with confession and repentance. Our emotions are tied to our desires. If you react with strong emotions, stop and assess what you are wanting so much in that moment that you are willing to sin against God. Is it control over what happens in your life? Is it comfort or ease in your day? Is it to be respected and valued by other people? We need to repent of those desires being so big that we are willing to sin when we don’t get them.

Maybe it’s being hardworking. Maybe when you hear of this woman working diligently in many areas of life, you realize you can grow in how you use your time. It starts with heart change of thinking and believing God has purpose in giving us work to do. We may need to change our view of work from the worldly idea that we just work to make money to have fun and see work the way God sees it. Maybe you are upset when others don’t appreciate your work and you have lived under the idea that you should be appreciated and thanked or that you deserve a break. What do you need to do? Do you need to spend time thinking about the way God views work? Change always starts with repentance to God and others. Then take some specific steps. Maybe it’s something practical like setting an alarm earlier in the morning to spend time in the Word? You need to deny yourself some extra sleep or lounge time to please God.  Do you need to cut out some TV or scrolling time? Maybe you need to put Colossians 3:23 up in front of the kitchen sink and pray that God would help you do your work for him and not the praise or thanks of man.

Maybe you need to think about ways to be intentional in serving and being generous with what you have. 

All of these principles start in the Heart. We must renew our minds so our thinking and believing line up with what God says! When we are growing in our love for God - growing in fear, awe, reverence, appreciation, worship and trust in God - we are growing in becoming like Him in His ways.

Change begins with repentance.

We need to identify the beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, desires, motives that are selfish in nature. This is where repentance needs to start.

We can’t just repent of saying harsh, unkind words. We can’t just repent of using our time poorly on social media or shopping excessively. We can’t just repent of being anxious. 

All of those actions are rooted in our beliefs and desires. We need to really understand what we are failing to believe about God. Are we failing to trust His goodness or wisdom? Are we so focused on our own desire of comfort or the way we want the future to turn out that we are not worshiping God and surrendering to His plan?

Trace the lack of these qualities back to the root issues.

Identify areas of your life where you need to develop these traits.

Write out a plan.

What Scriptures apply?

How does your thinking need to change? New Thinking

What are the New Words and Actions you need to put on?