Proverbs 31 Woman (Part 1)

Today we are looking at Proverbs 31. I have come across many women who really struggle with this passage. As they have read this passage, some feel like a failure. They have made this description as an impossibly high bar that they will never reach and feel condemned. That’s not the purpose of this chapter! And sadly, I know that some women have had this passage used against them by their husbands as evidence that they are not good wives. This is an evil use of Scripture and most definitely not God’s design for His word. 

My hope is to share the beauty of this God-Inspired chapter. 

Our sanctification, our becoming more like Christ, is an on-going process that lasts a life-time. As we read about this God-Fearing woman, keep in mind Christ - who is wisdom personified - is our righteousness. 

Christ took all of our sins, all the ways we completely fail to honor God as women, Christ paid the penalty for our sin. In exchange for taking our sin, He gives us His righteousness. As believers, we can read this passage with hope. This is what God desires to work in our lives. We are ALREADY holy in His sight because of Christ. AND, He is worthy of us pursuing increasing holiness. 

Jason DeRouchie, an Old Testament scholar at Bethlehem Seminary in Minneapolis, points out that Proverbs 31 is written in past tense. This is not a 23 year old who has “arrived’ at being the perfect woman. This is more of a eulogy - a life well lived by focusing on the Lord and fearing Him. This woman sinned, too. She wasn’t perfect in every way. This is a woman who demonstrated her love for the Lord consistently, not perfectly. This would be a reflection of a husband and children of the godly woman who established their home and lived for the Lord. This is a chapter to pray over and aspire to. We can learn principles from this woman.

This is a married woman, but the principles are not just for those who are married. These biblical principles are for everyone to live out in the situation God has placed you in.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t buy wool and flax. We are not all called to buy a field and plant a vineyard. But we learn from her some biblical principles that God does call us to grow in.

So let’s read it in its entirety and then break it down.

Proverbs 31:10-31

10 An excellent wife who can find?

    She is far more precious than jewels.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,

    and he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good, and not harm,

    all the days of her life.

13 She seeks wool and flax,

    and works with willing hands.

14 She is like the ships of the merchant;

    she brings her food from afar.

15 She rises while it is yet night

    and provides food for her household

    and portions for her maidens.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

17 She dresses herself  with strength

    and makes her arms strong.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

    Her lamp does not go out at night.

19 She puts her hands to the distaff,

    and her hands hold the spindle.

20 She opens her hand to the poor

    and reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,

    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes bed coverings for herself;

    her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates

    when he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them;

    she delivers sashes to the merchant.

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,

    and she laughs at the time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,

    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

27 She looks well to the ways of her household

    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

    her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women have done excellently,

    but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,

    and let her works praise her in the gates.

The key to this woman is her relationship with God.

Proverbs 31: 30 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

As this woman is described throughout the chapter, it all centers around her fear of God. 

Fear of God is having an awe, a reverence, a worshipful heart towards God. It is a heart posture - a humility, a deeply rooted value and treasuring God as God. As believers who have had the punishment of sin taken away by Christ on the cross, we don’t need to be afraid of God. But we should be in awe of His holiness and power and goodness. We should appreciate and honor Him as the King of Kings and Lord and Lords. Fear of God recognizes the vast difference between Creator God and creature self.

The focus of her life is rooted in her view of God. She has a high view of God. She’s got God in His rightful place as Almighty, Sovereign, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Creator of Life, Sustainer of Life.

A woman who lives life trusting God is to be praised. She trusts His plan for her life. There are many, many things that happen to us that we do not see any “good” in. We don’t understand why God would allow such a thing into our lives. But fear of God remembers that He is Creator, He is the author of our lives from start to finish, and fear involves the humility to say “I don’t understand, but I will trust God’s character.

If God is the focus of life, she is not centered on charm and outward beauty. In 1 Peter 3 God calls a gentle and quiet spirit beautiful because that demonstrates fear of the Lord. 

Charm is about focusing on what others think. We “charm” people by saying witty things, trying to appear a certain way. “Charm” can be faked. It’s the outward way we treat people and we may have very wrong motives. We may charm people to be liked or to get our way.  We can pretend to be something we are not to get people to think highly of us. But God always knows our hearts perfectly!

Beauty is “in vain”. There is no eternal value in having outward beauty. “Vanity” means something is “breath” or “vapor”. It is something that has a very temporary, short existence. Focusing on outward beauty has no lasting value and distracts us from focusing on inner-beauty which is fearing God, knowing God, knowing His word, and loving Him.

Every characteristic that this woman demonstrates is rooted in her fear of the Lord.

This woman cares about what God cares about. She is God-focused, not Self-focused. Last week we talked about putting off our deceitful, sinful desires to put on Christ-like desires, attitudes, actions and words. This woman described in Proverbs 31 was a woman who had matured in her faith and spent time knowing the Lord and becoming like Him. She applied her knowledge of God to daily life - that’s wisdom!