Titus 2 (Part 5) God’s Design for Women in the Church
The next instruction from Paul is regarding self-control.
Older women are to teach the younger women “to be self-controlled” - Other translations say “sensible”
Self-Control means being “of a sound mind, sane, in one's senses”, “curbing one's desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate”
This is having sound judgment or right thinking. Scripture puts a large emphasis on renewing our minds. Instead of just letting thoughts run through our minds, we are to think about our thoughts. We are to analyze them to see if they align with God’s Word.
Romans 12:1-2 “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
When we are thinking rightly about God and His word, we can discern what God’s good will is.
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
We are told again not to just let thoughts swirl in our minds. We need to think about our thoughts. We need to assess to see if they are true according to God, honorable according to God, just according to God, pure according to God. All the things. We are to think about those things, not what our sinful minds and natures have a tendency to go to.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,”
So many scriptures tell us to purposely set our minds on Truth. In order to train younger women to do this, we need to learn to do this. We need to pay attention to our thoughts and choose specifically to think about God accurately and focus on His attributes and promises and what He has done in Christ.
Young ladies are to be growing in being self-controlled in their minds - this is the opposite of living by the swing of emotions or being extreme in responses. A self-controlled person has their desires in check and that makes their emotions in check.
Are there areas of your thinking where you know you struggle with sinful thoughts:
Do you focus on ways you’ve been sinned against?
Do you focus on things that irritate you around the house?
Do you focus on what you want but don’t have?
Do you focus on worrying about the future?
Being self-controlled in our thinking - being sober-minded or sensible - really affects our life. What will think directs where we go in life.
Proverbs 23:7 (KJV) "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee".
This proverb is talking about a person who says one thing with their mouth, but does something different. This proverb is saying, what you think is what you really are.
God tells us to be sober-minded or sensible because our thinking is key to our transformation of becoming more like Christ.
The next instruction is about purity.
teach younger women to be Pure
Pure means “holy”, chaste,
Purity is a matter of the heart. Before purity is seen in actions or words, purity begins in a heart - the thoughts and desires. Purity is the inner person desiring to love and honor God above anything else.
Psalm 86:11
“Teach me your way, O Lord,
that I may walk in your truth;
unite my heart to fear your name.”
A pure heart is “united” - it’s not divided by being loyal to many things. When our heart is pure - loving God first and most - then our outward life will demonstrate that.
Purity is not just “don’t do this or that until you are married” or “don’t wear skirts that are shorter than your finger tips on your legs’ or “don’t wear too much make-up”
Purity comes from the heart that asks “How can I honor God?”
Does this action honor God?
Will this outfit honor God?
Will the way I’m talking honor God?
None of these traits is a list of rules. It is always about what we love, value or treasure. Is it God who we love? Or do we love something else more? Our outward responses reveal what we are loving most in that moment.
So when older women are to teach younger women to be pure - This means morally pure, virtuous. Yes it includes sexual purity with your husband, but it is more than that. It is a heart position that desires to please God in all areas of life.
Next, older women need to teach younger women to work at home.
Older women are to teach younger women to be “working at home”
We saw in week one that work is good! God created us to be workers in His perfect creation in the Garden of Eden. God values hard work! We saw in the Proverbs 31 woman what hard work looks like.
We live in a culture that prizes leisure and “me time” or relaxation. Our natural self, our sinful self, loves ease and comfort.
God tells us He values hard work. Working at home is good! And there is a lot of work to do!
We older women need to be careful about how we present work.
Do you paint the picture that life is better when the work of raising kids is done?
Do you encourage young moms with how great it is to have leisure time as an empty nester?
God values work - and here God specifically values working at home - being busy about the things that care for a family and preparing your home to be used for God’s glory.
It’s good to be busy working! It’s good to have jobs and tasks of caring for littles, taking care of the home, doing the cooking, laundry, teaching your children.
This has to do with our main focus in life. It is NOT to say that we should not work outside the home or that we have to be home 24 hours a day. We saw in the Proverbs 31 woman that she went out to work and was busy with buying fields and making profit.
To be a worker at home means that a woman’s sphere of life is to be her home. She is to pour her heart into her home. Her responsibility is her home. Any work done outside the home should benefit the home sphere of life. It will look different in different households. Single women have to work a job for money! Married women may choose or even need to work a job. But whether single or married, our homes are where God has designed us to experience contentment and joy.
Is your home a respite for those who come?
Do you practice hospitality and welcome others with the love of the Lord?
Do you look for ways to make your home a place that displays the gospel and use your time to truly care for those who enter your home?
This is still a posture of the heart. Working at home must come from a desire to honor God. God works hard - and so should we! We are to be busy with the responsibilities God has given to us. It may be teaching children, it may be making your home a place of rest and encouragement for others.
We should not neglect the physical home or the atmosphere in it!
This is still part of living life in a way that honors God and the proclaims the truth of His Word!
Next, Paul places importance on training the younger generation to be kind.
Older women are to teach younger women to be Kind
Being kind is intentionally doing what benefits others.
The first and greatest commandment is to love God with our whole hearts, and the second greatest command is to love others more than we love ourselves.
Kindness is a choice to put others ahead of ourselves because we love God most. Kindness is making the decision to meet needs and serve even when it's inconvenient. It’s looking to make life easier for other people out of love for God and that person.
As older women teach and train kindness, this again is a way of life that is observable. Younger women will learn not be just be told “be kind” but by observing older women demonstrating this.
Next, Paul instructs Titus to have older women are to train younger women to be submissive to their own husbands.
Be submissive to their own husbands
In a future blog we will spend more time talking about submission - what it is and what it isn’t.
In this context, older women are to be modeling this! How we talk about our husbands, how we retell stories of what happens in our homes, how we respond in public to our husbands, is training others.
It’s culturally acceptable to make jokes about husbands regarding specific things.
How a man is when he is sick - we paint a picture of pathetic, curling up in a ball while women who are sick continue to take care of the kids, house, and run marathons.
We may joke about how a man does the dishes, or lack of taking care of the yard, or other things.
These “jokes” come from our hearts. The way we talk reveals our love of self- thinking we are superior, we handle mutli-tasking better, we are better.
Consider how you talk about your husband, is it submissive and honoring?
The question this week is - older women, what are you training younger women to be like in the way you live?
How might you start to grow in either becoming a woman who has the wisdom and life experience to share with others? Or what might you do to actively become a trainer to younger women? You do not have to be perfect to mentor or disciple a younger woman! God can’t command only perfect women to do this because there are no perfect women! In some ways, older women are continuing to learn and grow into more Christlike ways just as younger women are. Older women WILL grow as they disciple others. Every time I teach something I am convicted and see areas in my life I need to confess and continue growing in. God is so faithful to continue the work of sanctification all the way through glorification in heaven!
Younger women, are you working to grow in these areas? Are you willing to humble yourself and learn from older women. And yes, you do need to be careful about who you go to for mentoring. But, Where are you going to gain wisdom? Are you quick to “google” a solution or turn to an influencer? Or do you seek out older, godly women to learn from?